Matrimony Asian way - marketplace or slavery?
1. The cover story of The Star today was about Vietnamese girls, who choose to marry single, wealthy and often old Malaysian men in order to escape poverty and misery in their home country. Foreign wives from Vietnam, China, Thailand and Indonesia seem to be increasingly popular with Malaysian men, and Singaporean too. They are young, beautiful, kind, subdued, traditional and undemanding. Articles about mail-order brides pop up in the Malaysian media far more frequently than news-worthy developments in the "foreign wives market". They usually contain a few real-life stories of "happily ever after", gleaming photos of the newlyweds, and end up with contact details of a matchmaking agency. (Do you hear me cringing my teeth?)
At the first glance, today's article looked like a refreshing change. There were interviews with one liberal-minded official and a few women rights activists, who condemned the practice, if not always in principal and completely, then at least in some of its aspects. But I was due for a disappointment. The article ended with a warning to Malaysian men - not all foreign wives are genuinely interested in the marriage and growing love for their stranger-husbands. Therefore, men should hold on to their passports, so that their new brides do not run away!
Is it a modern day legally acceptable slavery or just a normal market transaction between supposedly willing individuals, where the commodity happens to be a human life?
(The article was published in The Star, Malaysia, December 19, 2006)
2. Last night, we met a girl at a family function, who had been unhappily married and then divorced. This morning after breakfast, two female relatives in my family were discussing the possibility of matching her up with a distant relative, who is a good boy, well-off, and is currently looking for a wife. The situation is full of nuances - the first (painfully ended) marriage was introduced, now the girl's mother is thinking of the possible new husband. I've heard plenty of such stories and witnessed many matrimonial calculations recently - enough to start feeling uneasy! Introduced (a more liberal variation of arranged) marriages are normal in the modern Indian community.
Irritated at the discussion, I had to excuse myself and escape to the semi-familiar sanity of my own room.
At the first glance, today's article looked like a refreshing change. There were interviews with one liberal-minded official and a few women rights activists, who condemned the practice, if not always in principal and completely, then at least in some of its aspects. But I was due for a disappointment. The article ended with a warning to Malaysian men - not all foreign wives are genuinely interested in the marriage and growing love for their stranger-husbands. Therefore, men should hold on to their passports, so that their new brides do not run away!
Is it a modern day legally acceptable slavery or just a normal market transaction between supposedly willing individuals, where the commodity happens to be a human life?
(The article was published in The Star, Malaysia, December 19, 2006)
2. Last night, we met a girl at a family function, who had been unhappily married and then divorced. This morning after breakfast, two female relatives in my family were discussing the possibility of matching her up with a distant relative, who is a good boy, well-off, and is currently looking for a wife. The situation is full of nuances - the first (painfully ended) marriage was introduced, now the girl's mother is thinking of the possible new husband. I've heard plenty of such stories and witnessed many matrimonial calculations recently - enough to start feeling uneasy! Introduced (a more liberal variation of arranged) marriages are normal in the modern Indian community.
Irritated at the discussion, I had to excuse myself and escape to the semi-familiar sanity of my own room.
posted by Kristina at 11:15 AM
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