Life is too important to be taken seriously - O.Wilde
Kristina's blog
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
A rocky ride that made me dizzy
As commonplace as it may sound, life is truly a rollercoaster. At least mine is. And the ride is so rocky, the twists are so unexpected, that it makes me feel dizzy.
Yet, I love rocky rides, twist, turns and sky-loops. I love challenges and extreme – climbing a mountain, jumping off a plane, riding a crazy horse – just name it. I probably have more cuts and bruises on my body than a 5-year-old boy. Don’t get me wrong, they are sore and they hurt, but they also remind me of the adrenaline and the excitement of the ride that caused these bruises. And then, suddenly, you realize that life is beautiful…
I was sitting in a bar this night, when my attention was pulled away from a lively and funny conversation at our table by a TV screen – they were showing a few videos of Nirvana. It brought back a long ago forgotten memory. I had a friend with whom I met a few times. He was a nice guy and we had fun together. I lost sight of him for a while when one day, his mother called me up and, almost crying, asked me to come along with her to some clinic where this friend of mine was staying. It turned out to be a rehabilitation centre for intravenous drug addicts. It was a miserable sight.
My friend’s mom had a vague hope that I could help her son out of this nightmare. But I did not know what to do – it was so shocking, so unexpected.
My friend did get out of clinic, renewed and with a hope to live a better life. Later, I found out from my best high-school friend that she knew about the guy’s drug addiction for a long time. In fact, he had come to her apartment at night begging for any medicine to get him high.
I lost sight of this guy again fairly soon. A few years later, I met him in the city – his sight was blur and he could not recognize me. He was so high on drugs that it was almost surreal. It was not a physical craving, but a psychological addiction, weakness and lack of will. His empty eyes still haunt me – it was probably the most disturbing sight I had ever seen.
This is a birthday present to my friend from Edinburgh, Christopher.
I call it a 'Challenge' because his was the portrait, which took me the longest to draw. I literally had to make 10 sketches before I got the resemblance.
The hill on the background is called Arthur's Seat, and overlooks the city of Edinburgh.
The first thing I remember hearing about Edinburgh was – it’s a great city, except the weather is really bad. The next thing – you may experience four different seasons in one single day in Edinburgh.
It is true – the weather here changes fast and dramatically. You may wake up into a gloomy rainy day and then find yourself melting in the sun before you walk 5 meters away from your home. You can’t say it was a rainy or a sunny day, you can say the last 30 mins have been really nice and you never know if the next half an hour will be the same. The most beautiful about the weather in Edinburgh is that no matter which facet of it you see – it will be extreme. If it rains – everything is so humid that you feel like you are swimming through the air. If it is windy – you will be blown away with all your heavy clothes and shoes.
It is extreme, but I like it. The weather in Edinburgh is just like my moods – so erratic and inconsistent. It must be a woman who makes this weather so capricious.
If you are looking for Kristina from Estonia, who studied in Tallinn Humanitarian School, Tallinn Technical University, worked for AIESEC in Estonia and Norway, then in Harju County Government, then was stuck in New York for a year, then worked for CARAM Asia in Malaysia, and finally ended up studying international politics in the University of Edinburgh in Scotland and writing a research project for Oxfam in Oxford, then here I am. I have a husband Vishen, who is an entrepreneur, and a son Hayden, who is a sleepy-hungry newborn baby.
