Have no-one to blame but myself

This evening, I found myself in a new place again, not knowing what will happen next. I feel like a complete mess hidden behind apparently calm surface. I feel excited, a little scared, a little happy, very tired and somewhat irritated. Why do I do this? Why do I always say that I want a routine in my life, and then pack up my things and move to a new, crazy, unreasonable adventure?

The other night, when I was falling asleep at my parents place in Estonia, in my old room, I was thinking of the thoughts I had there at different stages of my life. My new beginnings have been very different over the past 15 years, but the excitement, fear and hope have not changed.

I have moved to Oxford - here, I will stay for a few months doing a research project in Oxfam...